摘要：今天， 東莞英凱教育（環(huán)球雅思分校）的老師來(lái)為大家展示一下雅思作文的批改評(píng)析，希望大家能夠以小見(jiàn)大，舉一反三到自己的雅思作文寫(xiě)作當(dāng)中。

　　今天，東莞英凱教育（環(huán)球雅思分校）為各位雅思考生展示一下雅思作文的批改評(píng)析，希望大家能夠以小見(jiàn)大，舉一反三到自己的雅思作文寫(xiě)作當(dāng)中。以下便是東莞英凱教育（環(huán)球雅思分校）為各位雅思考生帶來(lái)的雅思作文批改評(píng)析 ，希望可以幫助廣大雅思考生輕松備考雅思 。更多雅思備考 信息，請(qǐng)關(guān)注東莞英凱教育 （環(huán)球雅思分校）。

　　作文點(diǎn)評(píng)

　　Facing many international pollution issues such as the energy shortage and global warming, some people believe that individuals have limited abilities to deal with that issue, compared with the nations and society.

　　To what extent do you agree or disagree?

　　第一段太啰嗦，浪費(fèi)了很多字?jǐn)?shù)

　　An increasing amount of 后面才可以用不可數(shù)名詞

　　行文表達(dá)太過(guò)口語(yǔ)化

　　With rapidlyrapideconomic development, an increasing numberamountof pollution that has international impacts has arousedmotivatedpeople to pay more attention to environmentalprotection. People excessively exploit the natural resources due to the big gap between economic development demand and natural sourcesupply. I am amazed when I heared(this is too informal) Some people sayingthat individuals have no contribution to maketo cope with international pollution. As for me, In my opinion, nothing is further from the truth than this view.

　　第二段論證不充分，把浪費(fèi)在第一段的語(yǔ)句用在充分論證第一個(gè)分論點(diǎn)

　　寫(xiě)作中不可用縮寫(xiě)

　　In the first place, everyone can help to reduce pollution and do their bit for the environment. In other words, if every individual has the sense of environmentalprotection, we can make a great contribution to environment protection(don’t repeat nouns like this)protecting itand controllingpollution (this has been changed to make it a gerund and therefore parallel with ‘protecting it’)control. For example, turning lights off whenyou’reyou are(don’t abbreviate)not in the room can save a lot of energy. Notleaving televisions, stereos and computers on standby with the little red light, even though they might look like they areturned off. Don’t look down on these actions.(this last phrase is too informal).

　　第三段只寫(xiě)了政府的責(zé)任，沒(méi)有繼續(xù)寫(xiě)個(gè)人的責(zé)任。

　　In theSecondly place, environmentalprotection needs everyonesattention. Agreen environment is the system which is runmade possibleby two important links- governmentsand citizens. Governments aretaking major steps in environmentalprotection, such as introducing strict emission norms, penaltiesfor industries which wouldcross emission limits, andstrict automotive regulation. But all these efforts wouldwill fail if we don’t cooperate with governments. If one link is active but the other link is inactive then the whole system cannot run properly. Both have to work together for anefficient system.

　　act as a cardinal link 表達(dá)太抽象

　　Above all, a conclusion can be madeIt can be concludedthat everyone should take responsibility for environmentalprotection. Thus, I am firmly convinced that we are an important part of the link. If you understand this you can act as acardinal link(not sure what you are saying here?).

　　以上就是東莞英凱教育（環(huán)球雅思分校）為各位雅思考生帶來(lái)的雅思作文批改，預(yù)祝雅思考生們考出理想的成績(jī)！如需了解更多雅思學(xué)習(xí)的相關(guān)信息，歡迎撥打東莞英凱教育（環(huán)球雅思分校）的免費(fèi)咨詢(xún)熱線(xiàn)0769-21682008進(jìn)行咨詢(xún)，或者點(diǎn)擊東莞英凱教育（環(huán)球雅思分校）官方網(wǎng)站頁(yè)面的“在線(xiàn)咨詢(xún)”與名師直接對(duì)話(huà)。雅思學(xué)習(xí)網(wǎng)站，請(qǐng)關(guān)注東莞英凱教育（環(huán)球雅思分校）。